I love you.

On Friday, a horrific tragedy happened in Connecticut where twenty very young kids lost their lives. To add to it, as if this isn't horrible enough all on its own, it happened about 10 days before Christmas. And to throw in a personal jab, all of the kids were 6 or 7. You're six. I can't imagine what their parents and siblings and families are going through right now. I'm sick to my stomach as I think about it now.

I try to live my life in a way that if I were to die tomorrow (it's a little morbid to be honest, but it's how I think) that I would be happy with my life and that my family - you, Mason and dad especially - would know how much I love you. This horrific event showed me that I'm doing an okay job with that.

Of course it was extra special to see you after school on Friday, but I didn't feel like I needed to change anything. I tell you I love you, you tell me you love me. We take time to talk, we snuggle, I make sure I know what excites you, what makes you sad, and what makes you laugh. I do not take our time or our relationship for granted and I will try my best to never do so.

You are such a sweetheart, so full of life. I can't imagine my life without you and it hurts my heart knowing that the parents of these sweet babies have lost a part of their world. I just pray that they all sent their kids off with a hug because that would be the worst to lose your baby on a day that you had raised your voice or been in a hurry. And even though those things happen to everyone, I can't handle the thought of that being the case for their last moment together.

I didn't know what to do with the sadness I was feeling so I decided to write to you. I'm full on crying for the first time and that feels like the right thing to be doing. I think I've been shutting it out because it's too horrible to deal with. This was helpful. Thanks.

PS. I know you love me to the moon and back (stinker, stole my line!) but I am sure I love you at least just an inch more than that. Pretty sure. : )

 

six

kindergarten

You are so handsome! And so grown up. You are having such a great time in kindergarten - you have friends, girls like you (you've had a few fun stories about girls already - luckily you don't seem too interested yet - phew!) and you have decided you don't want to be shy. It's amazing to watch you grow up right before my eyes. 

We had our first parent/teacher conference last month and your teacher spoke very highly of you. I had to hold back tears. Ha! It caught me off guard. I can't believe how proud I am of you! You are kind, funny, and work really hard in school. Your teacher said she uses you as a guide to know how the day is going - if you're bored or confused she takes that as a sign that it might be time to switch things up or try it a different way. That's a crazy thing to hear about your kid - it's awesome!

You love soccer, beyblades, trying to spell and read words, and Skylander Giants. I mean you really love Skylander Giants. You have always been the type of kid who picks one thing to love (your guitar, Lego heroes, trains ... to name a few) and right now that thing is the giants. But now that you're older you do everything you can related to them. You want to look at them at the store every time we go, you print coloring pages of them, you draw your own version, you've asked if there are books/shows/movies about them, and you point out a commercial with one of the giants in it every time it comes on. So yeah... that pretty much sums up the age six Andrew so far. A Skylander Giants maniac! : )

Thanks for being awesome. I try really hard to reward you for being awesome so that you never feel like you have to act out to get my attention. If I ever forget this, please feel free to remind me by telling me, not by getting into to trouble. Deal? Deal!

Love you!